Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT!
by Kokotheevilone
Summary: Ron and Harry compete over Hermione's hand . . . but what they don't know is that someone's already stolen her heart. ONESHOT


A/N Hope you like!

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize I don't own.

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"So," said Ron.

"You ready?" Harry all but growled.

"Hey, calm down. You aren't even dating her yet." Ron tried, hoping that Harry would just get on with it.

"Ok." He finally said.

They spoke together. "Rock, paper, scissors, _shoot."_

Harry's hand was curled into a fist, Ron's formed scissors.

"HA! I won!" he practically yelled into Ron's ear.

"Oi, you still need two more to date Mione."

He frowned. "Then let's keep going."

Again, "Rock, scissors, paper, _shoot."_

Ron had scissors again, though this time Harry's was paper.

"Muahahahahahaaa." He laughed into his face.

"GAH."

And again, "Rock, paper, scissors, _shoot."_

Ron won again.

And then Harry.

They were tied. The person who won this last game would have the right to ask Hermione out.

"ROCK." They screamed.

"PAPER."

"SCISSORS."

"_SHOOT!"_

"YES!" Ron yelled. He got up and started to do a 'happy dance' that consisted of flailing his arms in the air while simultaneously doing the hula. It looked horrible.

"Stop rubbing it in my face, will ya?" groaned Harry.

"Nope."

"Fine then." He muttered.

Ron stopped his dancing and looked around.

"Hey, where's Hermione? She should be here by now, right?"

"Yeah, what's keeping her?"

"Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Harry, Arthur, DINNER!" Molly screamed from the kitchen. The air was suddenly filled with the sound of stampeding elephants –in other words, the Weasleys at dinner. There was much scraping of chairs and elbowing as everyone tried to get a space in front of the ham. Suddenly, Bill looked up.

"Er, mum, where are Hermione and Charlie?" he questioned.

Molly looked around, but didn't see them. "I don't know. I suppose they're late. Oh well, we'll just have to wait for them."

Fred groaned. "But mum, I'm–" He was cut off by Molly's death glare.

"We. Are. Waiting." She enunciated slowly.

Abashed, he nodded.

There was a sudden _crack_ from the living room, and Hermione and Charlie ran in, red-faced and out of breath.

"Sorry mum," Charlie got out, breathing heavily. "Rogue Death Eater tried to get Mione here so I hexed him."

They rest of the room gasped as one.

"Did you get him?"

"Are you OK?"

"Which hex did you use?"

"OI!" Molly yelled. Her outburst had the intended effect. Everyone shut up.

"Now," she continued. "Why don't you two dears sit down and have a bit of food, and we can talk about the Death Eater later, hmm?"

"Actually," Hermione panted. "Charlie and I have an announcement to make."

"And what would that be, dear?" Molly smiled. She had an idea of what the announcement would be.

"We," Charlie said, straightening up to his full height. "Are dating."

Everyone was speechless. Molly grinned. She was right. She had seen the glances they threw each other when they thought no one was looking. Charlie and Hermione were in love, plain and simple.

Then Ron lowered his head to the table and began to hit it repeatedly on the hard wood.

Harry patted his back.

The rest of them caught parts of what Ron was muttering, like "Bloody git . . . why didn't I ask her first . . . idiot . . . he got there first . . ."

Harry leaned forward. "Ron, if it's any consolation, I didn't get her either, you know."

Ron looked up and immediately burst into tears and ran from the room. They could hear him stomping up the stairs sobbing, and slamming his door.

"Bloody hell." Hermione finally murmured. "He's worse than I am on PMS!"

They gaped. Hermione was an absolute terror when she was on her period.

Charlie snickered. "I don't think anyone's worse than you on PMS."

* * *

In a Muggle town a few miles away, a little girl cocked her head. She could have sworn she heard a woman scream "Charlie!" a few moments ago. 'She was just imagining things.' She thought. She shook her head twice and went back to playing with her dolls, completely unaware that just a few miles away a man was being chased by flying bogeys caused by the Bat-Bogey hex.

* * *

Review, review, or be subjected to my evil poem-writing skills.

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue  
_

_If you don't review,  
_

_I'll hex you into goo!  
_


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